Fox Cities coalition strives to build ranks of adult mentors
January 25, 2007, Appleton Post-Crescent (Wisconsin)

By KARA PATTERSON

Visit Tony and Chele Boe's Kaukauna home one day after school or on any given Sunday, and it would appear they have four children.

When it's time to eat, Anthony joins the family around the table. He is included in prayer time and play time, and sometimes sleeps over.

"It's like he has a younger sister, an older sister and a brother almost his age," said Chele Boe, who picks up Anthony at least once a week. "I think he feels that when he's with us, he's just one of us. Our long-term goal is that he knows we love him no matter what, and no matter what he is welcomed with open arms."

This month, which is National Mentoring Month, the Northeast Wisconsin Mentoring Coalition is issuing a call for community members to come forward and volunteer with mentoring agencies.

Today is recognized as Thank Your Mentor Day.

About 2,500 Fox Valley area youth from Oshkosh to Green Bay could benefit from regular, quality one-on-one time with a caring adult, and volunteer centers are working with agencies to bring them together, said Julia Drobeck, executive director of the Volunteer Center of East Central Wisconsin Inc.

The coalition aims to increase by 10 percent the number of mentor matches by year's end, Drobeck said.

"It's just basically relationship building," she said. "That caring from that one adult gets passed on to the child, and then they begin to care about themselves and what's around them."

The Volunteer Center asks prospective mentors what might prevent them from making the commitment to mentor, and then works to eliminate potential barriers such as schedule conflicts, Drobeck said.

"It's someone who has a caring heart and has some time," she said. "We just basically ask them, what does your day look like, when would you be looking to spend your time."

After the interview process, which includes a background check by police, an agency will match the prospective mentor's personality, likes and dislikes with those of a waiting child, Drobeck said.

For example, Best Friends of Neenah-Menasha program service coordinator Patti Houlihan likes to ski and hopes to take along her young friend, who snowboards, for some skiing or snowboarding lessons.

Waiting youth come from all walks of life but share the need to connect, said Jeri Kukurich, program director for Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Fox Valley Region.

"For the most part our youth are just average kids that could benefit from having a positive experience with another adult," Kukurich said. "The program overall tends to be preventative. There's a better chance at getting (them) some of the skills they need."

Anthony's mother, Terry Moderson of Menasha, said she introduced both her son and her daughter to Best Friends of Neenah-Menasha because she herself had a Best Friend while growing up.

"It's let him (Anthony) go to places that I can't take him to," Moderson said. "He has other people he can talk to, and other kids to play with."

Houlihan said individuals, families and couples all can serve as mentors. She knows of shared matches between two retired friends, and between a mother and her daughter, a college student.

Bailey Boe, a seventh-grader, said she likes bowling with Anthony and considers him to be part of her family.

"I think it helps us all knowing we can help another child in their life," Bailey said.

Houlihan also said mentors should be aware that their friendships with youth are both an enjoyment for today and an investment in tomorrow.

"I think a lot of mentors want to see something happen today," Houlihan said. "You have to remind them, (the youth) may not use (what they've learned) today but 20 years from now they will. You just hope you can give some tools to these kids that they can use in the future."

Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Fox Valley Region last year recognized Little Sister Tiffany Van Toll and her Big Sister Linda Hatton during its annual appreciation dinner.

Van Toll, now 19 and a Green Bay resident, met Hatton when she was about 7. Their decade-long match has evolved into a friendship that Van Toll says has helped to transform her life.

"Her helping me with my homework really improved my grades and my whole personality," said Van Toll, a 2006 Freedom High School graduate. "I am in a better place and better circumstances because of her."

This past Christmas Van Toll gave Hatton, who is battling a health condition, a framed photo collage of their activities to take with her on hospital stays. The two typically visit weekly, Van Toll said.

"I am going to try helping her out as much as I can," Van Toll said. "She's just been so wonderful. Now it's kind of my turn to give back to her a little of what she gave to me."

Kara Patterson can be reached at 920-993-1000, ext. 215, or kpatterson@postcrescent.com.