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'I Thought it Would be Neat to Help Somebody'
January 28, 2005, The Royal Gazette (Bermuda)

Bermuda celebrated Thank Your Mentor Day on Tuesday, a day set aside to recognise the contributions that mentors make to the island. Thank Your Mentor Day was organised by YouthNet and Big Brothers and Big Sisters, two separate mentor groups working to improve the lives of Bermuda's children. On Thank Your Mentor Day, Royal Gazette reporter Jessie Moniz met with four participants in the Big Brothers and Big Sisters to talk about what they have gotten out of the programme. Kadijah Burrows, 11, originally started in the Big Brothers and Big Sisters programme because her little brother was getting all the attention. Six years later, she and her Big Sister, Lynne Rayner, are planning a cruise together paid for by their own business.

Big Brothers and Big Sisters is a community-based mentoring programme that matches kids with caring adults. They have around 90 matches and 50 boys and girls on the waiting list. Their motto is 'Making a World of Difference'.

"Her mum recognised that Kadijah needed someone a little bit special," said Ms Rayner. "She had a lot of things going on at that time and Kadijah has a younger brother."

There was some sibling rivalry, because he was younger and a boy. So her mother recognised this and she felt it would be good for Kadijah to get a Big Sister."

Ms Rayner is a 911 operator for the Bermuda Fire Service. Kadijah is a student at Sandys Middle School. They like to swim and cook together, among other things.

"We do everything together," said Ms Rayner. "We walk together and talk. We also have a business that we started last year."

The business is aptly called 'Sisters In Business' and is successful enough to send them on a cruise to the Caribbean in August.

"We make gift baskets," said Kadijah. "We have sold a lot."

Ms Rayner said the gift baskets gives them something to do now that Kadijah is getting older.

"Now, because of Kadijah's age, I am guiding her more in the business field as opposed to just going to play and party and have a good time," Ms Rayner said. "It is also something we enjoy doing together. We made a profit of $600 with our Christmas baskets. It is still hard work. We make the baskets, buy the supplies, put it together and sell it."

Ms. Rayner thought that making the gift baskets helped to demonstrate various basic business concepts to Kadijah.

"Initially, we have to buy the stuff," he said. "Then we have to pay ourselves back before we see a profit. I am going to set up books on the computer so we can see our profit and loss. We have a business card."

The gift baskets come with items like a small teddy bear, sparkling grape juice and wine glasses.

"Last year we made some for little girls," said Kadijah. "They were pink picnic baskets and a hat."

Many of their customers are people who work at the fire station, or at the Bermuda Industrial Union, where Kadijah's mother works.

"I work at the fire station so that is a good source of revenue," said Ms Rayner. "There are a lot of men there who don't like shopping. I tend to sell them to the firemen quite well. The Union people are also great. They wait for the boxes to arrive. We are getting repeat customers and orders now."

Ms Rayner said she decided to get a Little Sister because she was beginning to suffer from empty nest syndrome.

"I decided to get a younger sister because I felt I had something to give," she said. "My son is 21 now, and he was 16 when I first met Kadijah. He didn't want to be hanging with me much.

"I thought it would be neat to help somebody. Basically, it filled a void in both our lives. I had a son who was gone and I still had this nurturing to give."

She said she often hears all the negative things being said about young people today, but she knows that that is not Kadijah.

"Kadijah is growing up into a very responsible young lady," she said. "I don't think there will be any trouble with her. She knows right from wrong. She has grown up really nice. She lacked confidence before, but she is very confident now. She is doing extremely well in school."

Last year, Kadijah compiled a scrap book of her time with Lynne. In it, Kadijah wrote: "When I first met Aunt Lynne I could not swim. She worked at Sandpiper with a pool and taught me how to swim. I love swimming in fact Aunt Lynne wants me to go to the Olympics and swim for Bermuda."

In another entry she wrote: "I use her computer to do my school work. She helps me with all my projects and homework. I get A's from teachers and I enjoy school."

Kadijah said Ms Rayner has inspired her to become a teacher.

"She has taught me to be positive always," wrote Kadijah. "And never say 'I can't do it'. I want to thank my mom for singing me up for the programme. I want to thank Big Brothers and Big Sisters for the best present ever."

Thanks to Kadijah's book, Ms Rayner was named Big Sister of the Year for 2003 by the organisation.

"I think it is a great programme and I think they are doing a great job," said Ms Rayner. "When we get together for functions you can see the children really do connect with their Big. A lot of the children are quite proud of the fact that they have a Big. This is something to be proud of, not something to be looked down on. The organisation is doing a very good job."

For Big Brother Bruce Lim, originally from Toronto, having a Little Brother was a good way to connect with the community.

Mr. Lim moved to Bermuda two years ago and works for Arthur J. Gallagher. His Little Brother, Kevin Weeks, ten, attends the Victor Scott School.

"I became a Big Brother because it was something I had always wanted to do when I was living in Toronto," Mr. Lim said. "However, it is a little faster paced in Toronto. When I came to Bermuda things were a little more laid back. I had the time to do something. I saw the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organisation at the Christmas parade. I saw their float and I asked them about it. I thought I would wait three months and think about it, because of the commitment involved."

Mr. Lim was matched with Kevin because they both like movies, KFC and sports, but also for geographical reasons. Kevin was living in St. David's and Mr. Lim was living in Bailey's Bay.

"We go to the movies together," said Kevin. "The last movie we saw was "Shark Tales". We go to his volley ball games. I watch. I play football. We win all our games. One day I went to his job and did my homework."

Mr. Lim said it is easier to find things to do in Bermuda in the summer.

"When we first started we did quite a bit of fishing and kayaking," Mr. Lim said. "We went to Darrell's Island for camping. Sometimes I just hang out at his place. He has a big, close family, so it is a nice place to hang out. I watch him dance. He dances and raps."

Kevin said he was particularly thrilled to get a Nintendo Playstation from Mr. Lim at Christmas. "We just get along pretty well," said Mr. Lim. "He is a really good kid. I don't have any kids of my own."

Being a Big Brother was a little daunting at first for Mr. Lim because he doesn't have any kids of his own. "I had no experience with kids in the past," said Mr. Lim. "I was quite lucky with him, because he is really well-behaved. I was nervous when I started, absolutely, because I never had experience with kids before. At first, some of the questions I would ask him were a little strange. The first question I ever asked him was 'do you like music?' In retrospect, I realise what a silly question that was.

"You find that with kids you have to ask them questions where they can't answer with a simple 'yes' or 'no', because if they can answer with a one-word answer, they will. It has taught me how to communicate with kids."

Mr. Lim said he knows there is a shortage of male Big Brothers, but he doesn't go out of his way to encourage the people he knows. "The reason I don't try to recruit is that it is a large commitment, and if they really want to do it they will," he said. "It took me three months to decide and I am sure that all the guys I know are aware of the programme. Most guys who know I am involved, it probably passes through their mind, and I really leave it up to them."

Big Brothers and Big Sisters asks that their pairs spend three hours a week together.

"Some weeks we will spend more, some weeks less when I am busy," he said. "But on average I will spend about two or three hours a week with Kevin."

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